Stuck on Saturday

Last week was a hard one for me! I came up against something I wasn’t prepared for, a sudden grief that caught me by surprise and affected me in ways I wasn’t really prepared for.

As I sat in Good Friday service feeling the pain of my own grief, my heart began to understand in new and deeper ways the good in Good Friday, I began to learn a lesson about hope.

What sadness the disciples must have felt, what overwhelming grief Mary had to have experienced as she watched her son upon that cross. But we call it good, because that is what came of it, the goodest good…there ever was…but that Friday…I am confident…it did not feel good.

How awful that Saturday must have been. How painful. How confusing. To think of Mary, who KNEW Jesus was the Messiah. More than anyone else she knew He was the one. Not because of His miracles, not because of His teachings, but because she had been told by an ANGEL.

She had carried him in her womb…yet had done nothing to conceive Him. She raised several children, so she knew how sinful they are…but she watched Him grow up sinless. She knew He was the promised one, she had received a promise, lived it out, seen in so many ways how He was so different…but He had died, she had buried Him.

WHAT? That wasn’t supposed to happen! This wasn’t the way it was suppose to go! This was not what she was promised!

Had God finally given up on them? Had His patience run out? Had His love for His people dried up?

Maybe that’s not what Mary was thinking, but I’m pretty sure it’s what I would have thought.

Honestly, those are the kind of thoughts trying to overwhelm my mind right now. The thoughts that creep in when pain runs deep, when promises seem to be broken, and when what’s happened just doesn’t make sense…when you’re stuck on Saturday. 

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That’s where I am right now…stuck on Saturday. I’m in this place of grief, of pain…of sadness…and my mind is fighting the battle to keep from getting lost in the whys and my heart simply feels too weak to hope.

But…oh how I love when there’s a but…on Sunday the world changed! That glorious Sunday death was conquered, the table was turned on the fate of the souls of men, and hope burst forth victorious.

Saturday was a day that felt so hopeless…but that was not the truth. In fact, the world was pregnant with hope that Saturday. And it wasn’t because the disciples or Mary or anyone else had this great abundance of hope…it says they all left and just went back to life…but in spite of their lack of hope, hope broke through!

I received two beautiful reminders this week before and then after pain came for a visit…

All I need is a tiny bit of courage and He will strengthen my heart!

Hope is not something I need to feel or conjure up. It lives in my heart and remains even when I don’t have the strength to grab hold of it.

I may be stuck on Saturday right now…living in the place between sorrow and joy…but I know true Hope, Hope that does not disappoint, Hope that is more faithful than the morning and in Him my heart takes comfort and finds peace.

Mary didn’t get stuck on Saturday…and neither will I.

 

Legacy

For those of you who follow my Facebook & Instagram feeds, you may have noticed that I’ve been thinking about my Pa a lot lately…actually I’m getting ready to post a piece inspired by him in just a few minutes…I think there are a lot of reasons for this recent nostalgia. For one thing we’ve been cleaning out my Gramy’s apartment and sorting through all of all the things she didn’t take to her new place. In the process we’ve been rediscovering so many of his things; carvings he did, records he loved to listen to.

And we’ve also been discovering for the first time some precious secrets about my Pa, and a secret legacy he left that I never knew about.

My mom discovered that he had printed off and kept every email we’d ever sent him in our journeys around the world. All those years spent separated by oceans and so many miles, he had carefully documented it all.

There was even a file just for me! Every card, graduation announcements, newspaper clippings of articles I wrote in high school and college, and newsletters from the mission field. It was all there, a record of my life.

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My Pa’s response to having only girls…become a boy scout!

I think this sparked nostalgia, and a lot of time spent thinking about my Pa, because more than anyone else I’ve lost, I have regrets about my relationship with him…don’t get me wrong, we had a good relationship…but I feel like I missed out on really knowing him. At his funeral, as I heard all these things being shared about his life and the man he was it hit me…I had missed out.

I should have sat with him more often. I should have asked him more questions. I should have spent less time avoiding his lectures…he was known for his lectures…and spent more time listening to the things he had to say, the wisdom and opinions he had to share.

When he passed I had thought I’d known the legacy he had left behind. There was this incredible legacy of family, a clan of tightly knit people who spent time together outside of major holidays, and who truly love each other. There was his legacy as a maker, and a story teller, and a leader, and an incredible provider, and as a man who loved God…I see pieces of this legacy lived out in the lives and characteristics of his children and grandchildren…but there was a piece of his legacy that I had not known, and it caused me to realize that I could have known him more.

At his funeral stories were shared of this secret. It seems that he was in the habit of walking up to the pastor on a Sunday after church…after hearing someone express a need…and handing him an envelope full of cash with the instruction to keep his identity secret. This habit was news to me…and most of the people there I imagine…and that’s exactly the way he wanted. Even the people he gave to didn’t know who he was.

This man, was not a wealthy man. He was not giving out of abundance, looking for ways to get rid of all the money he had. He was not looking for applaud, or a pat on the back. He was giving because there was a need, and he could, and he made sure his right hand never knew what his left hand was doing.

This is the legacy that he left us…a legacy of humility, integrity, and giving.

It’s fortuitous that I’ve been processing all this as I’ve been refreshing Frippery House. Because it’s helped me to realize something…personally that I want this same legacy…but also that I want Frippery House to be a business that gives…I’m not as incredible as my Pa, because I’m telling you all about it and not keeping it a secret my whole life…but I want you to be a part of this giving, to know the heart and purpose behind why.

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My last photo with Pa, trying to show Gramy how to keep her eyes open in photos.

Because, being a business that gives is not a new concept…being a socially conscious business is maybe even a bit trendy…but the vision of Frippery House is to inspire and to connect people and giving is a natural outflow of that…And, I want to give a bit differently.

So many businesses give to support…or to end…social issues, and while Frippery House will do this as well, we’re going to do it in a very different way. You see, to those who live among refugees, who run orphanages or take orphans into their homes, who live and work daily among women working in the sex trade, or who provide love and care for those who have been returned home after being trafficked…to those people these things are not merely “social issues”.

They are people, with stories, with hurts, with joys…with lives. 

So, here’s how giving is going to look at Frippery House…a portion of EVERY jewelry purchase will be given to someone…or somefamily…actively living their lives to love and serve others. We will be supporting “social issues” by supporting, loving, and encouraging those who spend their days living them.

This may mean the money they are given is spent on a trip outside of the war zone they live in, so that they can be reminded that life is not all pain and trauma, so that they can refresh and continue on. It may be spent on a massage, dinner with a friend, or even a new homeschool curriculum.

This money will be given to them for their personal needs and care, because we believe that life is not about connecting with “social issues” but with people. It’s because we believe a life surrendered to God’s call, living and loving people on every corner of this earth is what we are called to…and we want to be a part of supporting those who are doing just this…and we want you to join us.

 

Look for a blog post coming soon that details who Frippery House will be giving to!

 

Turn and Face the Change

In the last couple of months I have been working through some changes with in Frippery House.

I started to realize at the end of 2016 that I didn’t really like the direction things were headed. For one thing, I really wasn’t enjoying making the same design the exact same way over and over, it was taking the joy out of it for me.

I also noticed that when people ordered these designs off of Etsy or FripperyHouse.com the transaction was fairly impersonal and lacked the connection I was hoping for when I began FH.

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You see…jewelry is really just something pretty…frippery…not essential to life, frivolous. But, it holds amazing potential to connect us to each other.

Most of my personal jewelry has a story. It reminds me of someone, some place, some moment, or some emotion. It has the power to connect with me in a moment and touch my emotions; to send my heart moving in a different direction than it was just moments earlier.

This is the true beauty of jewelry, the potential it holds to draw us out of our current situation or circumstances and point our hearts in a different direction.

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This is why I make jewelry, because I want to enter into your stories, to create for you pieces that evoke emotion; things that remind you of something, some one, or some place. And that you walk away knowing you own something special. And, when someone asks you about your unique piece you then get to encourage them through telling your story.

Encourage

I also want you to walk away knowing that your purchase benefitted someone other than yourself, and to connect you to the amazing works of love God is doing around the world through His people. The goal is to leave you feeling confident both in your purchase and through your purchase.

Inspire

Frippery House desires to create handmade jewelry that connects, encourages, and inspires.

Phase 1 of the transition has already begun, as some of you may have noticed. I have begun posting one of a kind and small run designs for sale on Instagram and Facebook. This is a great way for me to connect with many of you, and simply share with you the things I create as inspiration hits me! I absolutely LOVE working this way, and I hope you enjoy seeing my work this way.

 

Phase 2 is a transition away from Etsy and a complete overhaul of FripperyHouse.com…which is in progress.

This is the part I that benefits you most immediately. I need your help transitioning my discontinued inventory into your hands.

Starting Wednesday 2/22/17 you will receive 25% off your ETSY purchase with coupon code INSPIRE. You will have to be quick, because I only have 1 or 2 of each design available on Etsy.

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But, if you miss out on Etsy, don’t worry; I’m clearing out FripperyHouse.com as well.

All discontinued designs will be marked 20% off and designs I will continue to carry will be 10% off, no coupon code necessary.

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There are more phases to come, updates on what “lines” of semi custom and small run jewelry I will be making and which works of love we will be supporting, so make sure you are following FH on Facebook and Instagram and checking back for updates.

the Emily

I want to start out by saying that I just simply can’t put this woman into words…I have truly never met anyone else like her…but I will attempt to capture a bit of who she is and share her with you.

Emily and I lived together in Thailand…we shared a great little apartment high up above the city with an amazing view that almost made you forget you were in the middle of a red light district…those years we lived together had an incalculable impact on my life. I learned so much from her, I grew so much through her, and I found so much laughter in our friendship.

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Wedding photos…I don’t think we’ve ever looked better

When I first moved to Thailand I moved into a room in a crazy house full of women who were constantly transitioning through…it was pretty exhausting…well, in this room was this homemade sign with Micah 6:8 written on it…

“He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”

For the three months I lived in that room I would find myself staring at that sign, just meditating on those words, remembering why I’d moved across the world, what it truly was that the Lord wanted from me in Thailand…do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly…That truth got me through a lot those first couple of months…they were HARD!

Then, I met Emily!

She had been home in England for a few months, and I discovered I had been living in her room, and the sign that brought me such encouragement was her handy work.

Within a few hours of meeting we were looking for our own apartment and a few days later we moved into our sanctuary in the sky.

We had so much fun in that apartment, there are so many stories from those years…sometimes my son will ask me to tell him an Emily story, his favorite being the time she brought home bunnies in dresses from the market…we found lots of entertainment in our differences as an American and Englishwoman, escape in “24” marathons…why don’t they ever believe Jack!?! And adventure in just wandering the massive city together.

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We just went out to get supplies for milkshakes!!!

But, the most incredible thing I have taken away from my time with this woman is watching her live out Micah 6:8.

Seeing her selflessness when woken in the middle of the night by a drunk and hysterical woman ringing our bell…I was irritated by being woken and inconvenienced but not Em, she just cared about this woman…watching her stop and take the time to talk with broken and hurting people as she encounters them. Once, she passed a woman on the street who was obviously not Thai, homeless, covered in dirt, and smelled of poo, so she brought her to our place, cleaned her up…also one of my boy’s favorite stories because there was quite a bit of hilariousness that ensued…and then worked to get her back to her home country.

Today, I live in a home where things change constantly, where more people live with me than share my name, where people come to visit and stay for weeks and months, and where everyone is welcome. The Lord used this incredible woman to open my heart to this…to prepare me for setting aside my comforts and expectations and instead having a deep desire to love others with every part of my life.

I have never known anyone else even close to like her. Who so fiercely loves justice, who seeks it out on behalf of others. Who seems to walk around surrounded by a cloud of mercy. And who desires to live simply, humbly, and innocent of evil…I don’t know how she manages to spend so much of her life surrounded by evil and yet remain so beautifully innocent, but she does, it’s a beautiful gift God has given her! 

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Trying to design a piece of jewelry that captures all of this was difficult! I knew I wanted to use red because she had these great red jeans that were so cool…this was way before colored jeans were even a thing… and I knew I wanted them to capture the intensity, the fierceness of who she is…because she is FIERCE! But I also wanted them to be fun, and to sparkle a bit…because that’s who she is, this fierce, sparkly, fun woman! So I went with deep, rich colors, labradorite which has a bit of flash to it, and a unique wire wrapped look. They don’t do her justice…but I think they’re pretty cool.

It’s been six years since we’ve lived together…since we’ve lived on the same continent…I moved back to Colorado, she moved back to England. I have been so blessed to go to England twice in the last couple of years, so I’ve gotten to see her and spend some time with her. She’s doing amazing things there as she continues to live a just, merciful, and humble life…Check out Ella’s Home or message me if you want to find out more about what she’s currently doing in England to live out justice and mercy in the lives of women in England…and pray for her, for the women she works with, and pray about supporting this work.

Sometimes I sit back and think…I can’t believe I know this woman, I can’t believe she’s my friend…I am so grateful for her in my life, for who she encourages me to be, who she inspires me to be…When I look at her life, when I see who she is all I can think is…if anything is going to change the world it’s going to be people like her who love the Lord and live out His love!

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To purchase the Emily click HERE

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Faith > Fear

Ok, so last weekend I was at a woman’s retreat and the amazing teacher, Lenya Heitzig…seriously she was such a blessing and you should check her out…was sharing about fear. I always love/hate the fear topic…because I KNOW it’s going to apply to me…but I also know I’m going to be busted! I have fought fear my whole life…the Lord has grown me soooo much…but it’s still a battle whenever I step out, and years ago I told the Lord that if He opened doors I’d walk through them…so lets just say there’s lots of opportunity for fear.

*I need to give some credit for the title of the blog post to one Julia because she told me about seeing “Faith > Fear” on a necklace and I just love it, and I think I’m gonna make me one

So, Lenya was teaching from the first part of Joshua from Moses’ death to the Israelites entering the promise land, including the fall of Jericho and the crossing of the Jordan River…it’s a pretty epic couple of chapters…after Joshua leads the people through the Jordan…the priests are standing in the middle of the river which has dried up so they can cross through…God tells him to take 12 stones from the river and place them on the bank, so that when the generations after them see it they will ask ‘why are there stones piled up there’ and then they will be told the amazing things God did for the people of Israel.

I have always loved this concept…maybe it’s my love of rocks, or my love of story telling, but this has always resonated with me.

In Samuel this idea of leaving a stone of remembrance is called an Ebenezer stone. In my life, my tattoos are my Ebenezer stones. Each one is a stone of remembrance, each one marks a point in my life where things changed…behind my ear is the stone that marks when I surrendered not just my eternity but my today to the Lord, on my foot is the remembrance of God’s provision for me on the mission field and His faithfulness in bringing Ian and I together…each one marks a season of my life the Lord brought me through, each represents an amazing thing He did, each one is a miracle…even the ones I got before I was walking with Him.

And, what’s really amazing to see is that it’s working, I now have a son who wants to hear the stories of my tattoos, he asks me to share with him the history of God’s faithfulness in my life…so incredible!!!

img_0064This weekend, as Lenya was teaching, what really stood out to me was not the 12 stones God had them place on the shore for all to see, but the 12 stones they were to place in the middle of the Jordan…stones that would be covered by the rushing waters as soon as the last priest stepped onto the river bank…it was the 12 stones that no one would see. There is something about this symbol that I don’t think I fully understand yet…but I can’t shake that it’s important, that it means something specific for me in my life.

I think it’s maybe it’s the faith of it…because seeing rocks and hearing the story is one thing…believing that those rocks you can’t see are there is another. It’s easy to look at the physical and believe, it’s harder to trust a story, to believe what’s unseen.

Recently I got another tattoo…sorry mom and dad, I know you hate them…it is another Ebenezer stone…another reminder of God’s provision and faithfulness through a season of my life.

The most current season of my life has been difficult…there has been so much grief and so much pain and so much sickness…This season of my life has been beautiful…I’m a wife and a mom, I’ve seen God answer my prayers and show up in absolutely incredible ways…This season of my life has been lonely…I’m a wife and a mom and they must be my priority and I’ve had a very broken child that needed a lot of me…This season of life has been joyful…we went from three people to a family, we’ve traveled and experienced so much together, and I’ve grown SO much in the depth of my love for God…

My Ebenezer stone is a reminder of these things, of what God has done in my life the last couple of years, of His faithfulness, of His provision, of His goodness…in the midst of and in spite of each and every circumstance.

The tattoo is a ship on a choppy sea, cloudy skies, and a bit of sun poking through. All this is contained inside of a rope…but outside that rope is this simple anchor connected by a straight line to the ship.

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Life is great, and hard, and joyful, and painful. It is love and grief…laughter and tears…If I look at life as it comes at me, the circumstances that surround me…and I let that determine the course of my life…the waves will overtake me.

Instead, I stare at those rocks I can’t see, at the anchor that is secured outside of this world and outside of my circumstances…and I remember WHO it is my hope is in. When things are great, they are great…but when things are hard, I know the rocks are still there, the anchor still secure, and that eventually the sea will calm and the sun will burst through…because I have seen and will see again the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

 

As always, thanks for reading…make sure to follow, like, share and comment!

the Lindsy

I am not in the habit of walking up to people asking them “hi, will you be my friend”…at least not since I was in 2nd grade…but with Lindsy that’s exactly what I did…well, not exactly, I really made a case for why we needed to be friends…we had been hanging out with the same group of friends for a while and I really enjoyed her, but she travelled a lot which made really becoming more than just acquaintances difficult.

So, one Saturday afternoon at a women’s retreat me and two other of my incredible friends practically stalked her until we were able to talk with her. When we finally got some time with her we made our case for why she needed girl friends…and why we were exactly those girls…instead of backing away slowly and issuing a restraining order, she delightfully agreed with us…and we’ve been friends ever since!

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*While editing this post I noticed that I never once mentioned how amazingly talented she is…MAJOR oversight…she has an absolutely incredible voice and heart for worship and writes incredibly vulnerable and beautiful songs*

10 years later, I never see her often enough or for long enough but it is such a treat when I get to spend time with her…we are still very much bosom buddies. There are so many things I enjoy about her, so many things that make her a great friend. She is so kind and genuine, her faith and her heart are so pure, and she is wonderfully silly…we’ve definitely stayed up all night giggling like teenagers well into our 20s, and we once toilet papered a friend’s house when we were WAY too old to do something like that.

In my early years of walking with the Lord Lindsy showed me how to love others, how to engage everyone with graciousness and love. I don’t know if Lindsy has any idea how much I admire her, how much I look up to her, how much she inspires me. I have observed how she treats people over the years and I have watched how they are drawn to her…like flies to honey.

Once she gave our waiter in the restaurant her personal bible with all her notes, because he had shared with us some struggles and expressed a desire to read the Bible and to know God…so she just handed it to him. I don’t know if she knows how much of an impact that had on me.

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But the thing that has kept our friendship strong and grown her into one of my closest and most trusted friends over the years is how likeminded we are. There are a lot of people on this earth, a lot of people I love and enjoy, a lot of people I call friends, some who just come into my life for a season, but very VERY few who I have found myself so likeminded with.

I have always been able to be open with her…to share my heart…she has always listened, encouraged, comforted, and exhorted me. She has been present during some of the most amazing, and the most difficult times in my life, we started our friendships as single ladies…I got engaged days before her wedding, she was a bridesmaid in mine…and now we are moms…we have grown and changed so much, along side each other.

The icing on top is that we married men who were friends…yay!!!

Basically…I love this lady! She is kindness, beauty, joy, strength, comfort, a bit of sparkle, and a whole lot of grace all bundled up into one lovely package. I don’t know if I could ever truly capture who she is in a piece of jewelry, but I gave it a shot.

I used amazonite, because it is one of my favorite stones. It has this very natural and calming feel to it, and the color is neutral but not boring. The quartz gives it sparkle…gotta love some sparkle. There is something comfortable yet so special about this necklace. It makes me happy to wear it, it brings me comfort, and it makes me feel beautiful.

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Being around Lindsy does the same thing…it makes me feel so comfortable, and loved, and beautiful…I admire her so much, and just being in her presence reminds me how loved I am by God…what an incredible…and inspiring…friend she is to have. I’m glad I was brave/silly/foolish enough to ask her to be my friend all those years ago.

The Lindsy is available here…Frippery House…and here…Etsy

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I Think I Belong In The Sky…

Sorry I disappeared there for a minute…the last couple of weeks have been a bit insane! Conferences, retreats, food tours, a reunion with a friend who I miss so much it hurts sometimes, big projects, weddings, and 3 am goodbyes. There has been excitement, celebration, joy, exhaustion, deep thoughts, tough moments, tears of joy and of sorrow, lots of laughing, and a few exhilarating moments of dancing…it has been a FULL two weeks!

But now I’m back, deciding what to share with you all, what hilarious story or big deep take away I have from all of this…but I just really want to share with you how much I love flying…and window seats!

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Banning, CA from the sky…didn’t even know there was such a place!

This past week I had the privilege of flying with a friend who is terrified of flying…privilege because I don’t get to see her or spend much time with her, not because she hates flying…but being on a plane with her reminded me how much I LOVE flying. I love being in the clouds, I love the science of it all…it’s really truly incredible that someone not only figured out how it would work but was then brave enough to give it a go…I get a bit freaked out during turbulence, but it also thrills me because this stuff that is all around us every day that we pay no attention to…air…suddenly is suspending me high above the earth.

I have spent a lot of my life in the air. As a child 8+ hour flights were something I took several times a year…now I’ve slowed it down to about once a year…and there was a point in time where I use to joke that the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere was in airport terminalsI enjoy sleeping on planes, and watching movies, reading, I love the opportunity to just kind of take a break from life…wifi on planes is ruining this and I will not participate! But the thing I love the most is staring out the window.

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Somewhere near Palm Springs, CA

I have whale watched from above, seen the patchwork quilt that is Colorado from the sky, seen sunsets from above…and sunrises too…I have admired the beauty of the Eastern US from above with it’s rivers and trees…so many trees…found myself overwhelmed by massiveness of Bangkok at night, and delighted in seeing Big Ben and the River Thames as we landed in London. 

I flew over the Alps once and thought to myself, those aren’t so much bigger than the Rockies, then I realized what I thought was snow covered ground was actually the clouds and I was suddenly in awe of how incredibly massive they are. My heart has leaped a thousand times in a dozen different places as I peered out the window and realized I was “home”…Venezuela was an amazing home to land in because as you touch down everyone would clap…but so was San Francisco with that runway that goes right up to the edge of the water so that you think you’ll miss the land until the very second you touch down.

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Palm Springs, CA …I love that my phone tells me where in the air I was!!!

So, I guess my big take away this week is that the Earth is really beautiful and incredible to watch from above, and flying is amazing…I am so thankful for all the flight pioneers that made commercial flight possible…my life would be so very different if they had let fear or disappointments stop them.

 

Check out what’s going on at Frippery House this week….

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www.instagram.com/fripperyhouse

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